my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize