Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
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