oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
well you can't waste a boner
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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