I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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