i jhust puked up my retainher.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
