??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
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