She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
