I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
