So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize