Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
