hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I could make wine with my vomit
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
