Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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