if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize