Plan B is the new Plan A
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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