I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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