the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
