We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
