Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
