then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
