just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
