i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize