i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.