I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
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There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
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I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.