he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?