"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
the evidence from last night is not good...
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.