You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
