That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
