And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
