I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
