i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize