well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
if i died would you start the facebook group?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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