whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize