This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize