I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
