Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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