I bet he comes in French.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.