I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(