You just made me feel so damn special
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?