i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!