ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
