Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I cut my penus on the lid.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
