ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
