yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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