Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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