well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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