That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
