Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here