why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
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I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing