Is that why you're texting me
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.