As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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