we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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