so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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