Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
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