1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
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