Sponge bath it is.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
