You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
