if you like me you must not know who I am
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just want to make out with him forever
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
