I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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