she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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