so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
