Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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