Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
