I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
