Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize