Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
