Soap is not a condiment
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize