No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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